This site is spawned from a period of personal crisis. On the encouragement of a few respected individuals, one being my wife, the suggestion of documenting my transition out of the depressive lull of stay-at-home parenthood and doing what makes me happy inspired me to create this blog. Doing so rekindled my interest in the graduate work I had done that revolved around the rhetoric of masculinity.

Taking on a non-traditional male role that removed me from the workforce reminded me of an ugly truth, that being a guy can really suck sometimes! Okay, everyone has sucky moments, but this speaks to those peculiar to guys. Being a man who fits into the Western mold of masculinity that allows for professional and relational success is to walk a series of fine lines: A man must be assertive, but not aggressive. A man needs to be tough, but also nice. A man should be outspoken, but kind. A man should be protective, but not dominating. A man should take control, but also listen. A man needs to be confident, but not cocky.

So many demands! Worse yet, as I researched methods of “self-improvement” I discovered that there is no shortage of men and women who claim to sell the panacea to all of a guy’s problems, which is to explain the secrets to how you can and must become more “manly.” Without a credential to be had, too many capitalize on the insecurities men face in moments when they seek answers to their problems. How low is that?

After researching masculinity and men’s movements for more than a decade, I have come to feel that seeking to become what society wants the ideal man to be is a pointless endeavor. We can’t all become John Wayne. Instead, it is my approach to make others aware of how masculinity gets portrayed, explained, and exploited in media and society. For most, it is better to understand and navigate the landscape of “manliness” than it is to completely transform ourselves and abandon who we are (plus, it’s more entertaining).

What I write here is more therapeutic than anything else. As I draw from the topics of sports, music, and politics (among others) I hope to humorously show how our standards and expectations of the world are based on our understanding of men and masculinity.

Cheers!