In this age of information it is simultaneously easier and more difficult to operate as an individual.

It is easier in that we get to express ourselves (for better or worse) on social media or blogs like this. Our interesting, poor, or well-informed opinions and perspectives may be conveyed by the images or words of our choosing. The ease of producing vignettes of our thoughts and experiences comes at little cost. Affordances provided by smartphones, computers, and an infrastructure to connect most of us in North America are the perfect way to let others into our business with the hope of standing out in the crowd.

The problem is that the crowd just shifted, and this is no ordinary crowd. In a physical crowd, we can typically interact only with those in close proximity to us. Such immediacy allows for a tribe-like atmosphere that may indicate proper roles and behaviors for members to exhibit. We know where we stand.

In the crowd of information, we can leap anywhere we choose. This is the problem.

When we are exposed to the breadth of experiences and knowledge of nearly everyone else, it is easy to feel small and insignificant. The temptation to compare ourselves to what we see is great and potentially crippling. We often fail to realize that we place what we know in opposition to the collective knowledge or intelligence existing in our information and entertainment channels.

Surprisingly, for as many dunderheads we encounter daily, the power of groups is surprising when it comes to producing better outcomes than when left to experts alone. The creation of public policy is often pointed to as an example when establishing this point. Other examples may include wikis or search engines through the use of open-source software. Now, I would suggest there is more of a power distribution driven by the top ten percent at work in some cases here, so I will focus on more mundane activities.

Nearly all of us have admired or wished how we could be as funny as a late-night talk show host or a character on a sitcom. Perhaps we marvel at how some talk show hosts can be so knowledgeable in a broad range of topics. To many of us, seeing these people at work results in some frustration within ourselves by having us wonder why we “didn’t think of that.”

What is hidden from us is the behind-the-scenes work. We do not see the team of writers coming up with the jokes, keeping the good ones, and discarding the bad.  We do not see the writers coming up with that perfect comeback to be delivered at just the right time. We do not see the team of researchers funneling information to a single host to present. We do not see the team of editors that makes things appear seamless.

The perfection of what we see is maddening and there is just no way to replicate that ourselves.

What else is maddening is what we see on social media (no crap, right?). As we scroll through our feeds we inundate ourselves with perfection and idealism. Everyone seems to be on vacation, but us! Everyone seems to be eating at a nice restaurant, but us! Everyone has a drink in their hand, but us! Nobody is just sitting in their living room in sweatpants eating a microwavable burrito.

This is not true, of course, but we are presented with a staggered presentation of experiences that fill gaps in such a way that someone else always appears to be having the time of their lives. If we know 100 people, chances are 5 are on vacation right now, 5 are out to dinner tonight, and 5 are out hanging out with friends. Tomorrow, it will be a different 5 in each case to replace the others as they return to normal life, it just won’t appear that way.

The same thing rings true with the stories and interests of others. Messaging and texting four or five other people daily to hear about what is going on in their worlds is a good way to make yours seem dull. People are usually motivated to appear smarter, more interesting, and busier than they actually are.

As we take part in these interactions through direct discourse or just mere lurking, we are conglomerating knowledge and experiences in our heads to create a field in which we compare ourselves or our partners. Doing so runs the risk of diminishing our self-value, our focus (professional and personal), our relationships, and creates an imposter syndrome that prevents personal growth.

The point is, beware of comparing yourself and others to the field because the field is usually the safe bet to win.