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Hushing the Hecklers

Being someone who has a good deal of anxiety, creating this blog and any media that follows is a daunting task. Producing anything meant to be in front of the eyes of many opens the door for unknown responses and reactions. Writing for an audience can be crippling.

As I put my thoughts and observations down on faux electronic paper, a flood of thoughts enters my head. Is what I am writing important? Is what I am writing correct? Is what I am writing making sense? What will my friends think about this? What will my wife say? What will the person who stumbled onto this while at a coffee shop in northwest Arkansas think?

So why am I doing this?

Well, I guess my experiences mixed with a desire to help others avoid my pitfalls is at the center of it all. I also have an area of expertise that lends itself well to acting as a frame of reference to address and assist in the process of constructing a better path for ourselves. Unfortunately, this is not enough to eliminate doubt.

And that is my problem to deal with (yours if you do the same).

One thing I needed to get through my head is that people thrive on conflict. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, that can be said without the potential for someone to provide a point of contention.

I bet you are trying to think of something in that last sentence to contend!

And to rub more salt in that wound, trolls exist for the sole purpose to bring you down.

The problem is that I, and others I am sure, think about this before pen meets paper (or figure meets keypad). It is like a comedian going on stage and immediately trying to spot the potential heckler in the crowd. I heckle myself before I give anyone a chance to do it for real. I know this, so why do I not just stop doing this to myself?

In a way, I did by realizing that the burden of those thoughts placed in opposition to the burden of inaction equals out. In both cases, the failure to achieve is the outcome. In the end, this is all about achievement!

Achievement can be monetary, professional, or personal. To achieve is to meet a goal. How many people meet their goals? Heck, how many people even set goals? When I sit and write in the present I understand that the hecklers in my head are the product of a society that demands satiation and perfection. People everywhere, especially on social media, project ideal versions of themselves that suggest a level of success or righteousness that we cannot help but measure ourselves against. Comparing yourself to the entire field is a losing proposition. Many abstain from participating in discussions or activities to protect themselves from failure (this only leaves the extreme positions to be heard and the assholes of society win).

In my case, I also understand that the imagined voices create doubt not to protect me from potentially making a mistake by speaking up, but to protect others. Many in the audience will shout down some opinions out of fear of their own ignorance or chosen myopic worldviews. It is those views that have seeped in to protect long-standing narratives. These voices will never go away and are sometimes helpful in creating well-reasoned positions and discourse, but they can be controlled.

Then there are the material world hecklers.

A few years ago, a friend and I developed product that is targeted to golfers. This project is still ongoing, but we have had the opportunity to discuss and pitch it to people in the industry. Reviews are mostly positive, some are lukewarm, and fewer are negative. The process is long and tiring, but I am learning a lot about people along the way. There is a big difference between the successful and the less-than-successful.

Whenever we present our product to those who are business owners or are high up in the organizations they work for, we are met with excitement and optimism. People in these positions see opportunity and encouragement, possibly because they understand the difficulty of getting a foothold in the industry.

When we do get negative feedback, it is typically from individuals who come off as bitter from the start. Lacking any sublime professional or personal quality is the common characteristic of those who approach us with suspicion or, even worse, ridicule. So, we let them be. They are hard to forget, though. They are the hecklers.

Somehow, someway, somewhere along the way these people failed. They fail themselves personally or professionally and ultimately view all existence as a competition. They fail us all by acting as barriers to ideas. The sad thing is I may have done the same in the past.

Achievements are not zero-sum, and there is plenty to go around. Healthy competition to drive us towards our goals is great, even necessary, most of us just need to get a grip on the way we choose to compete.

All we can do is worry about ourselves by knowing the hecklers out there and in our heads are just a product of a society that distracts us through the words and actions of the sorry.