William Shakespeare famously wrote “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

I fail to remember that people tend to take this a little too far.

I think back to my time running around campus with a camera as a broadcasting major. A few friends and I often worked on projects or news productions aired on television all over campus. Everyone in the dorms, cafeterias, and seating areas was exposed to our handy work from time to time. Some pieces we put together were decent while others, well, not so much.

What I remember most about these productions is the trouble getting people to go on camera. I would try to find people who were loud and “spoke their minds” to get some quality footage or interviews. I figured these are people who cannot wait to get their mugs on camera.

Those lions quickly turned to kittens.

As I approached Mr. or Ms. opinionated big mouth, I was frequently met with shy shakes of the head indicating “no” or a very quiet “no thanks.” When getting a shot of a crowd, some of the pseudo-bold can be seen ducking out of the way as if they are in witness protection. It became a joke of sorts. I would throw a camera on my shoulder to watch people dive away like Ricky Henderson into second base.

Conversely, the meek and silent around campus would accept the opportunity to appear on camera and open up to where I would frantically give the “wrap it up” signal.

These experiences were eye-opening because they taught me that much of what we see is merely performative. When situations arise that require someone to put up, it is tough to fake it and take action.

This is how I feel when people pop up in my social media feeds and claim they can change you to become more dynamic and confident in 7-14 days.

It is bull!

Sure, there may be some who change in quick order. After all, we saw how the Grinch transformed in an instant after hearing the Whos in Whoville sing and having to save the sleigh full of presents from tumbling over a cliff. Typically, rapid changes require traumatic experiences that none of us care to experience.

The majority of us, I am confident to say, seek to make a shift in or improve our lives when we already have three or four decades of experiences, habits, and traumas under our belts. The frames of reference by which we operate are well established and provide a context to assist in our success within cultural norms.

To truly change ourselves requires time and patience. As promises of a “new you” pepper your screens, a healthy dose of skepticism is required as an over-the-top presenter pitches a course and reminds you of already-known inadequacies or insecurities. Sure they can be overcome, but quick fixes is only patchwork in the form of a facade that lead to a bigger problem, dis-ingenuousness.

Compromising who you are in order to attract the attention of others ultimately ends in failure. The performance you put on as the “better you” will attract the wrong people or place you in the wrong environment. Eventually, as the saying goes, “crap floats.” As the performance wears down to expose the true self, others will question the act and become displeased with the hidden version of the person they met, or the situation the act put you in will pile stress and misery on your conscious.

The goal of change is to not feel the need to duck away from the attention you attract.